When I Can't Write, I Draw

When I first got into therapy, my docs figured out early on that I could hide a great deal in my writing. So, they took my journals from me and gave me instead a drawing pad and pencils. I was so incredibly frustrated not because I couldn't draw, but for the simple reason I didn't know how to mask my true feelings in a drawing.


But like any good patient I did my assignments and drew. My drawings have a certain quality to them that make them clearly mine. I continued to humor my therapists concerning their take on my situation (my "DIAGNOSIS"), until I found in my drawing a pad a picture that was undoubtedly mine, but I didn't remember drawing it. It also had a younger quality to it, very similar to my drawings in my early teens.


I was officially freaked out. Not to mention, extremely irritated with the smug arrogance of my care givers. I had always hated " I told you so " attitudes. Just because this big thing had occurred for me that I couldn't explain away didn't give them the right to gloat about their accuracy in diagnosing the new girl.


Soon I was drawing constantly. I think I was trying to practice enough to where I could control what came out in the therapeutic pieces. However, I had no such luck. Truthfully, it was probably the best way for me to truly discover for myself the validity of my pain and despair. I drew for a number of years fairly consistently. I actually had a showing at a local art gallery. Some of my pieces are in a rape crisis center, and a few counseling offices.


I don't draw nearly as often as I'd like and probably should but when I find my self unable to write, drawing always pulls the truth forth from within me. So, if journaling is difficult for you or you're having a hard time putting it into words; maybe you should try drawing, painting, sculpting, whatever creative way you can get it out. It worked for me and for some other friends I've made over the years. Survivor Art offers some of the most powerful glimpses into our world's reality. It isn't easy and rarely is it fun, but if done with a strong support system it can open up a whole in experience in dealing with your issues.